• Ash Smithies

Taking off the rose coloured glasses

Updated: May 12, 2020

I remember so distinctively having this huge argument at 25 years old with my partner at the time because his friend said I always saw the world through rose coloured glasses. And it triggered the fuck out of me.

It was the first time I realised that my excessive positivity was actually an avoidance strategy. I was so far the other way of always seeing the bright side that I'd completely ignore when I was angry or upset or pissed off.

We do this a lot when we realise that our thoughts impact our reality. We fall into this trap of 'good vibes only'. This obsessive positivity can become dangerous when it's constantly used as a bandaid fix.

For me, this excessive positivity stemmed from a need for everyone to like me. I was so worried about people not liking me that I would overcompensate with my happy attitude and bite my tongue when I felt annoyed.

What I realised is that without expressing all of our emotions (the good and the not so good), they get stuck in our bodies. The energy of fear and pain get wedged deep into our subconscious mind to the point that they explode in unexpected and uncontrollable ways. I used to have the most turbulent arguments with my partner at the time because I didn't quite understand the art of drip feeding my feelings as I felt them. I'd bottle them up and try to be the 'fun, happy girlfriend' so much so that I'd get to breaking point and the tiniest thing would set me off on a rampage of behaviour that was misaligned. I look back now and think "wow no wonder my emotions came out like that because I didn't honour them when I needed to".

For you, your 'good vibes only' attitude might stem from not wanting to manifest negative things. Or you might pride yourself on being the fun party girl in your social group, or the one who has their 'shit together'.

But I urge you to change your perception on this. You CAN lean into your emotions, have a chat with them, and let them move through you. The less you resist them, the less they have a hold on you. I have found that this is a much safer and healthier way for me to be a human being. A human being who has shit days. A human being who has insecurities. A human being who worries. A human being who has fears. A human being who gets moody.

The sooner I readjusted my unrealistic expectations of myself, the sooner I could just chill the fuck out, and stop trying to keep up this persona of being Miss Perfect.

I no longer feel ashamed or 'broken' for acknowledging these parts of myself, in fact I now feel stronger because of my ability to express my emotions when I feel them. And the funny thing is, I’m seeing more and more of my friends and family do the same with me. Because we’ve removed our masks and taken the shame out of feeling sad.

I'm sending you so much love and hope you have a beautiful day ♥