• Ash Smithies

Ohhhh Alcohol, what a journey we've been on together.

Updated: May 12, 2020

There's a lot that I used to blame you for. A lot of nights where I use to blackout or make stupid mistakes when I'd consumed too much of you... but the truth is, you were always just the fastest vehicle for me to learn my soul lessons.


I can see why I used to depend on you so much in my teens and early twenties. You were my social lubricant. The thing that made each interaction more comfortable. You gave me fake confidence and released my social anxiety temporarily.

And for that, I'll always be grateful.


But you were always just a bandaid fix. A short term solution to my deeper self-worth issues. You could only take me so far before I ended up back at square one, feeling anxious and being yelled at by my negative inner critic.


So I had to find a way to improve my confidence that would be for the long term. Something more sustainable. And that meant cutting you out for a little while so I didn't have a mask to hide behind. It meant doing some inner healing and addressing the beliefs that sat beneath my low self-worth.

We really needed that space from one another. I'm sure you'll agree that it's completely changed our relationship.


I can now easily socialise without your help. In fact, I'm noticing my conversations have been much better quality because I feel so present.


I don't resent you like I used to. I can now take full responsibility for my actions and I realise that you were always just guiding me back to my fears, so I could heal them.


If I'm craving a beer on a scorching hot day, then I'll have one. But I now know my limits and feel total awareness in my body as I'm consuming you. I'm in control.


So thank you for the part you've played in my journey so far, but you can take a step back now. I've got this



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